Divine Neglect: In your experience is the American church too judgmental or too "relaxed" when it comes to the behavior of its members?
1 Corinthians 5:1-5 (MSG)
1-2I also received a report of scandalous sex within your church family, a kind that wouldn't be tolerated even outside the church: One of your men is sleeping with his stepmother. And you're so above it all that it doesn't even faze you! Shouldn't this break your hearts? Shouldn't it bring you to your knees in tears? Shouldn't this person and his conduct be confronted and dealt with?
3-5I'll tell you what I would do. Even though I'm not there in person, consider me right there with you, because I can fully see what's going on. I'm telling you that this is wrong. You must not simply look the other way and hope it goes away on its own. Bring it out in the open and deal with it in the authority of Jesus our Master. Assemble the community—I'll be present in spirit with you and our Master Jesus will be present in power. Hold this man's conduct up to public scrutiny. Let him defend it if he can! But if he can't, then out with him! It will be totally devastating to him, of course, and embarrassing to you. But better devastation and embarrassment than damnation. You want him on his feet and forgiven before the Master on the Day of Judgment.
3-5I'll tell you what I would do. Even though I'm not there in person, consider me right there with you, because I can fully see what's going on. I'm telling you that this is wrong. You must not simply look the other way and hope it goes away on its own. Bring it out in the open and deal with it in the authority of Jesus our Master. Assemble the community—I'll be present in spirit with you and our Master Jesus will be present in power. Hold this man's conduct up to public scrutiny. Let him defend it if he can! But if he can't, then out with him! It will be totally devastating to him, of course, and embarrassing to you. But better devastation and embarrassment than damnation. You want him on his feet and forgiven before the Master on the Day of Judgment.
I had a friend who would go through the same cycle of living with his parents until they were fed up, kick him out, then he'd go from one house to another until the people giving him shelter got tired of him and kicked him out. This went on and on and on. He lived at my parents house twice for a total of probably 6 months. One night he asked to stay and I, like his parents, gave the tough love answer of no, knowing full well his alternative was the streets. Hardest thing I ever had to do, but my hope was he'd hate it so much that he'd really really appreciate anyone who opened their homes up to him and then would make greater efforts to hold a job and take care of himself. He slept that night at the park and hated it so much, but unfortunately the cycle continued for another five years or so, I think, until now, he seems to be doing all right on his own. I'm proud of him. I think tough love is the point where our compassionate love comes to the point of enabling a destructive behavior and then we have to do what we' do if we didn't care at all only because we care so much. Like Paul handing the disobedient folks over to Satan sounds like the most uncaring, heartless act ever. But it was from a deeper love than simply giving and tolerating out of compassion that sometimes we have to harm with the hope that they can heal.
ReplyDeleteDivine neglect: We all know a lot of people who avoid church due to hypocrisy, and often the biggest sense of this hypocrisy looms around the idea of judgment. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is ever sinners favorite verse, eh? And the moment someone in church may edify or even reprimand someone for indulging a sin they consider this judgment, claim the church is full of hypocrites, and high tail it out of there. The sad truth is there are churches who probably push this "holy chastising" out beyond the level of loving sinners without judgment. Yet, to counteract this, I've seen churches go far in the opposite direction, never truly addressing people's iniquitous behavior. Like a church I know of with a youth group that I went to. I know, a church is full of sinners, but as I got to know the kids in this group, I was prone to wonder if anyone ever told them that being saved means an effort to become a disciple of Christ, which means living like Him. I knew more teenage sex, drugs, and profanity in the kids who went to that youth group. If it was obvious to me, it had to be obvious to the youth pastor, right? What was so disheartening is that I know non-believers who live and act more Christlike than kids who grew up going to this church.
My philosophy, my ways, is when a person's sin becomes apparent to me, it's an opportunity to help. I have literally had friends who said, as absurd as it sounds, that they knew what they were doing dishonored God and was wrong, they were just waiting for someone to tell them to stop. It may be a tough road, one where you may often be disliked, when you try to address someone's immoral actions, and it may feel like you're walking a tightrope struggling from wobbling too far toward harsh judgment and enabling someone to feel everything is peachy. But hey, we're just as imperfect as any of them. I think the key is being open and honest about your own faults and displaying the transformation power of the Holy Spirit at work in our lives. And in the transformation we are becoming Christlike, who didn't let people's sins slide, but found a way in love and grace to address the issue and inspire the person to want to change.
Great feedback Cody, I love what you are saying...unfortunately the Youth Group analogy is all too true...hopefully one that will never be appropriate here
DeleteI agree with Cody. I remember being a new Christian and thinking (because I hadn't read the Bible yet) that what I believed and did was not a sin. However because I had godly women around me who spoke the truth to me in love I learned. I remember one woman that came to me after a bible study and told me I should not be complaining about my husband. That I was uncovering him and love covered a multitude of sins. She mentored me for years.
ReplyDeleteI think we need to also remember that we should not be judging our fellow brothers and sisters, but it should be loving them. When you love somebody (like our kids) you approach them with a teaching spirit and not a judgmental spirit. There is always a way to say what needs to be said without harming a person. I like the acronym T.H.I.N.K. If you answer NO to any of these questions you shouldn't say it: T-is it Thoughtful, H-is it Helpful, I-is it Inspiring, N-is it Necessary, K-is it Kind. Christians can be so hateful and self righteous with each other and we need to practice being more like Jesus. Now with that said, we need to be very careful with non-believers. These scriptures are talking about the believers, not the non-believers. God tells us to come just as we are...not clean up your act and come. But sometimes I see Christians not acting like Jesus at all. Jesus was hard on the religious people, not the people that didn't know any better. Jesus always found a way to speak into a non-believers life by finding a connection with them. Nobody is going to want to be part of Christianity if we beat them up as we ask them to receive Christ into their hearts. I guess the bottom line is we should be lead by the Holy Spirit, not ourselves.
Haha - when you were wrting I was reminded of a friend who became a christian and was then told that fornicatin was a sin...he had to go look up the word in a dictionary and then was very sad:)
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