Several years ago a woman at our church died suddenly in surgery. It was shocking and unexpected but the stranger aspect to the event occurred a month or two later when I came across her Facebook page that was still up and running. This was during the earlier days of Facebook (when it was still under a billion users:) - so I had never experienced something like this. I thought it quite strange that she was still receiving posts and there were even some strange comments on here wall regarding quiz scores and results from some of the insipid surveys and games people play on FB.
Flash forward several years and many more FB friends later I find myself in a state of deja vu...sort of. Tonight I received a message from my friends brother letting me know she died 3 days ago. I am still reeling from the shock and sadness. In addition to this there is an incredible sense of surrealism to the matter. As I sat alone in my office reading about my good friend's demise and having no concrete details...I went to her FB page and saw all of her friends comments to her post-mortem. The idea of online-life-after-death makes the process of grief and dealing with the finality of it all that much more difficult.
In a sense, the online community provides a chance to instantly connect with other friends and family members whom you might not be able to grieve with in person. However, the disconnect between reality and online personality leaves me feeling more isolated and removed from the tangibility of a situation where you are talking and dealing with people. I still remember reading that Michael Jackson had died on TMZ...hours later Wolf Blitzer was still unsure if it had happened and was, what one friend referred to as "a hot mess". I'm sorry, but I still think I need Blitzer or Brokaw to tell me in person...or a phone call from a friend. I feel that the next war will "innoventually" (Donaghy) see parents of deceased soldiers gathering the news of their passing children's from a military officer's Twitter feed.
